One of the privileges of adulthood is that you can choose who you have in your life.

TAKE NOTE: Length of time should not determine loyalty.

It is a glorious day when you realize this is true.

Life is too short to have negative, angry, mean, life-sucking people in your life.

Don’t worry about ditching them….for some miraculous reason they always seem to manage to find other suckers who will let them latch on and feed their hunger for one-way attention.

You don’t need to be one of those suckers anymore.

Why is it that we keep these people in our lives, just because:

a)     We have been dating them for a long period of time

b)     We have known them for a really long period of time

c)      We work with them

d)     We are related to them?

The truth is sometimes hard to grasp, but here it is:  relationships need to be built on two-way kindness and appreciation.

Regardless of how often you see this person or spend time with them, no matter if you feel you “owe” them anything or if they are blood.

Sometimes we need to go on a “relationship diet” and cleanse ourselves….get rid of the ‘fast friends’ and unhealthy bonds, choosing to expose our bodies and souls to only those things that are healthy, nourishing and make us feel full and good and happy.

This can be hard.  It might take a few tries to let go or at least set new boundaries.  You might be forced to spend time with these people (family events, work functions, court…)…but you don’t need to re-kindle what once was.  No matter how hard they try, don’t let them back in.  Smile, bite your tongue, and wait it out until you can leave.

After the event is over, treat yourself to something wonderful.  Be proud of yourself for getting through it without really letting them back into your life.

NOTE:  Of course, the ideal thing is to be able to recognize these people early on….and just keep your emotional distance right from the start.  Don’t get attached or sucked in.  Set boundaries, put on your armor and protect your kind and sometimes susceptible heart.  Watch for red flags of future potential manipulation and general jerk-ness.  Remember: relationships need to be built on two-way kindness and appreciation.  Your gut will hopefully tell you early on whether this person will be a good choice or not.  If you feel a tweak in your gut, then don’t date them, don’t meet them for coffee, don’t offer favors or money, don’t listen to their long-winded pity party stories, and above all –

DON’T MARRY THEM OR MAKE BABIES WITH THEM.

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