Last week I talked about raising kids to be both confident and kind.

This week is very similar…

“The best leaders are both COMPETENT and KIND”

We have all had bosses who were strong in one area but not the other –


  • very efficient – trying to be perfect
  • often working way too many hours and expecting everyone else to do the same
  • very high expectations
  • no work-life balance
  • demanding
  • puts the work above relationships, personal life or outside interests
  • confrontational, rigid, quick to anger
  • not supportive of employees complaints, concerns or challenges
  • gets results, but people really dislike working for them.


  • disorganized
  • lacking direction
  • misses deadlines or “drops the ball” often
  • relies on subordinates to do their work for them and clean up their messes
  • very friendly, loves to chat and socialize
  • is easily manipulated
  • puts relationships above the work
  • avoids confrontation or any form of discipline (even when it is desperately needed in the workplace)
  • inefficient
  • only gets results when others are doing the work, people like working with them but don’t really respect them or learn from them.

If you are currently in a position when you supervise others, ask yourself: do I demonstrate both competence and kindness?  Do people know I am a hard worker and a model employee?  Do they find me approachable, friendly and open to their suggestions?  Is there high turnover in my area, or is there loyalty?

When people respect and like their bosses, they stick around.

They work harder.

They feel heard and appreciated.

And one day, when they are in a position of authority, they will know what to do.