If you have been humming and hawing about whether the person you are dating/living with is the one you are meant to marry, ask yourself this:

“If someone better came along tomorrow, what would I do?”

Really ask yourself the question.  What answer pops up in your heart and gut?

Got your answer?

I told you to consider this question because if someone had asked me the same one when I was dating my significant other, I would have paused and said:

“I can’t imagine someone better.”

When you read that, how did it make you feel about your answer?

As of today we have been together 12 years, married for 7.  Still best friends and happy as ever.

Still unsure?  Here is another question:

“If you could, what would you change about your partner?”

Make a list.

(Don’t read ahead, you sneak!  Go make the list!  I can wait!)

Once it is done, ask yourself – “Is it possible there is someone out there who already has all of these qualities?  Instead of trying to change all of these things about my current partner, why not look for someone who already has these qualities…..which are apparently quite important to me, since I wrote them down?”

Look over that list – are the items small and insignificant “wish list” items that in reality you could live with (different hair, less snoring, better cook)?

Or does the list include important big ticket items that mean a lot to you (kinder, wants/doesn’t want kids, different religion, smarter, better sense of humor, got along with your family and other loved ones, responsible with money, not violent, not struggling with addictions, more respectful of me, etc)?

If ANY big ticket items are on your list, then it is time to do some thinking.

Remember, you will never be this young again.

Years ago, in my early 20’s, I lost 3.5 years to someone whose list…had I made it then….would have included many big ticket items.  Many.

But YOU don’t have to be a victim of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or financial) to need a reason to leave.

If deep inside your heart you dream of something more…

…that can be reason enough.

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