kindness

Last week’s blog is not only about understanding other people.

It is also about forgiving other people.

When you take the time to figure out why a choice or behavior “made sense to them at the time”, you might be able to see the situation from their point of view.

If the person’s decision or action caused you pain (emotional or otherwise)…maybe you will realize they didn’t mean to.

Or you will realize that they had no idea you would be hurt by it.

Or you will realize that they didn’t care.

Whatever the reason behind it, your new understanding will be the first step towards forgiveness.  It doesn’t have to mean you condone what they did or approve of it.  It just means that you understand why – and that it might have happened because they were either clueless or mean.

If it was because they were clueless….you can explain the situation to them and then forgive them, as long as they promise to not do it again.

If it was because they were mean…you can stop feeling guilty for letting it happen, for being a victim.  It wasn’t your fault – that was just the action of a mean person.  It could have happened to anyone (mean people tend to be universally mean).  You don’t need to obsess over them (or what happened) anymore.  You just have to avoid mean people from now on.

And don’t worry about what you could have done or said differently to punish that mean person.

They are being punished every day.

They have to live with themselves.

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